True American Greatness

American Greatness Defined
Citizen or Subject
Foundation Blocks

Call to Action

Larger Self
Authoritarian Playbook
Big Issues
Citizen Playbook
Critical Topics

Critical Topic – COMMON EXCUSES

What’s Here?

  1. Excuses – Their Nature & Why We Make Them
  2. The Landscape of Common Excuses
  3. Overcoming Excuses

Catch your Thoughts At Any Time

Excuses Thought Catcher

Excuses are normal and natural.  We can respect them and use them for direction and energy vs. be limited by them.  They can also generate energy and focus and lead us to acknowledge and draw upon our larger selves.

I. Excuses – Their Nature & Why We Make Them

Excuses are Not Just Bad or Weak

Excuses usually have something behind them, and we are protecting ourselves from something. The question is do we really need to protect ourselves or is the excuse undermining us?

Sometimes the excuses are legitimate, and we shouldn’t act or we should act carefully. Other times the excuses are simply reactions and based in a lack of confidence or risk-taking – they are designed to keep us in our comfort zone.

The Key – Identify the Excuse and Examine it

Is it really protecting us from something that could hurt us? Is it “just an excuse” and designed to keep us from venturing outside our comfort zone? If the excuse is not protecting us then we need to get past it because it will be stealing our power and our ability to make a difference.

The good news is that we can use them as challenges and guides. But getting past excuses is a skill or muscle-building that takes conscious effort and – like any muscle – it takes practice.

We have to be conscious of excuses because we are designed to make them.

    • Our minds are always ready to make an excuse
    • Our minds are conditioned to seek what’s safe, easy, and comfortable
    • Our minds will present us with excuses to avoid discomfort

That becomes problematic:

    • When our excuses keep us from living a full life and making our contributions
    • If we avoid being outside our comfort zone too much because that’s where our growth happens
    • When our excuses prevent us from acting from our larger selves and diminish us


Examples of Types of Excuses that Steal Our Power

  • We make excuses to protect ourselves from our fears.
  • We make excuses to avoid exploring the boundaries of our comfort zone.
  • We make excuses to justify when we don’t commit to what our values require.
  • We make excuses to avoid learning more about ourselves that might make us feel uncomfortable.
  • We make excuses, so we don’t have to test our assumptions.
  • We make excuses from our “smaller selves” vs. our “larger selves.”

II. The Landscape of Common Excuses

One way to look at the landscape of common excuses is to look at which ones are primarily personal in nature, and which ones are primarily external in nature, particularly institutions and systems. There is a surprising array of possible excuses, which reinforces the need to identify the ones actually in play and then draw on our larger selves to deal with them.

Personal Focus
Many of our excuses are personal in nature. They have to do with us and not others.

  1. Feeling Powerless – Self-Doubt
    We tend to disengage when we believe they lack agency.
  • “I don’t have the right connections.”
  • “I can’t do this on my own”.
  • “I’m afraid of taking a risk and failing.”
  • “I’m afraid of what others will think of me.”
  • “I don’t know where to begin or how to get started.”
  • “That’s not my job”
  • “I’ve had bad experiences in the past”
  • “I haven’t been asked”
  • “I don’t know people who can show me the way, help me be successful, etc.”
  • “It’s just too hard – it’s beyond me.”
  1. Belief That Participation Doesn’t Matter
    Why make the effort, take the risk, stretch ourselves if it won’t matter?
  • “My vote won’t change anything.”
  • “Politicians are all the same.”
  • “Nothing ever improves anyway.”
  • “Ordinary people have no influence.”
  • “Big corporations control everything.”
  • “Activism never works.”
  • “There is no point – the fix is in.”
  1. Lack of Time or Energy
    Most of us lead very busy lives with lots of demands, particularly if we have young families or health problems or struggle to “make ends meet.”
  • “I’m too busy with work and family.” 
  • “I barely have time to survive.” 
  • “Civic issues are exhausting.” 
  • “I don’t need another commitment right now.”
  1. Feeling Uninformed or Unqualified
    It’s easy to feel small in the face of the daunting challenges we face.
  • “I don’t know enough about politics.” 
  • “The issues are too complicated.” 
  • “I’m not smart enough to debate this stuff.” 
  • “I’m not qualified.”
  1. Avoidance of Conflict
    Conflict is simply not something that most of us are comfortable with or feel competent dealing with.
  • “Politics just causes arguments.” 
  • “I don’t want drama.” 
  • “It’s better not to talk about controversial issues.”
  1. Comfort and Convenience
    We simply need to go outside our comfort zones (or fear that we will) to engage in meaningful ways.
  • “Things are fine for me.” 
  • “Someone else will handle it.” 
  • “Why bother if my life is okay?” 
  1. Information Overload, Distrust, and Fatigue
    This is a legitimate issue and requires a significant commitment to find the right sources
  • “There’s too much bad news.” 
  • “I can’t keep up.” 
  • “Everything online is toxic.” 
  • “I don’t know what media outlets to trust.”

External Focus – Lack of Trust in Others

Some excuses are focused externally, particularly on institutions and processes.

  1. Distrust and Disillusionment Our institutions are giving us lots of reasons to “not trust the system”, so why commit ourselves to protect and improve it?
  • “Government doesn’t care about people like me.” 
  • “Corruption controls everything.” 
  • “The media lies.”
  1. Alienation or Exclusion
    Marginalized groups in particular can feel excluded from decision-making (or feel invisible or devalued) and withdraw
  • “People like me aren’t represented.” 
  • “Politics isn’t for people from my background.” 
  • “No one listens to my community.”

III. Overcoming Excuses

When we look directly at our excuses we can (1) simply discard some (because their power is being in the shadows) and (2) we can look to our larger selves to take on the others.  We can use the excuses to “rise up” – providing focus and energy – and “just do it.”

Even when managing our excuses vs. being managed by them, we may find legitimate limits that we can’t get around and those need to be respected.  But, the key is to not be stopped – and to act as powerfully as we caning the beginning and to increase our impact as we go.  It’s fine to start small and build.

Our Larger Self – Five Qualities
In the Beginning
  1. We Commit – acting from our sense of significance and a belief that our actions are meaningful (even in small ways).  “I am a courageous citizen committed to carrying the American experiment in democracy forward.”  I am willing to go outside my comfort zone to do that/be that.  I will be a role model for others (friends, family, co-workers, neighbors…)
  2. We Draw on Our Courage – we call forth our courage to overcome our fears (fear shrinks when confronted directly and courage grows).  We’re all affected by fear.  It’s normal and natural – but we don’t have to be controlled/diminished by it.  We can, however, use our fear of regret (“what I didn’t do and regret”) to act.
On the Path – As We Go
  1. We Persevere and Build Resilience – we “hold the course” over time and despite the inevitable setbacks and disappointments (it’s there if we look for it.
  2. We Connect – we connect to our beliefs and to others (even 1-2 others). We get support and we give support- we are in it together.
    We Act with Grace – extending Grace to others – and to ourselves
“The brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls are not there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something. Because the brick walls are there to stop the people who don’t want it badly enough. They’re there to stop the other people.”
Randy Pausch
The Last Lecture